National Breastfeeding Week: Thoughts on the Stigma

My little man nursing at just a few days old.

This week is National Breastfeeding Week. It's a subject near and dear to my heart as regular readers will know.  I'm a bit of a strange one, because I'm one of the few who biologically cannot exclusively breastfeed... but did anyways!  I thought I'd write a bit about my feelings on the stigma of breastfeeding in Ireland and the prevailing view on breasts as a sexual object versus a functional biological one.

I love that we have a week highlighting this beautiful act of motherhood, but it's a lifelong battle in Ireland which never ceases to baffle me.

Just looking at some of the reactions of people on twitter says a lot about Irish culture and the way women are really viewed.  If boobs are seen purely as a sexual thing, what does it say for us? For a culture who is rapidly rejecting religion and all the backwards theories that comes with it and finally backing science and natural selection, it's amazing to me that we can be so close minded about this.  I wonder where people think the human race evolved from if it wasn't for boobs. Formula wasn't even an option 200 years ago, yet somehow we managed to survive.

I would urge every woman to examine her feelings on this issue and wonder why and where those feelings evolved. If boobs are only for our partners to play with, what does that say about us? What does that say about our view of the role of women? Where did such views come from? Whether you choose to breastfeed or not, you really need to think about this. Why should women be made feel uncomfortable or in extreme cases shunned for doing something their bodies were made to do? Why is it ok for women to flaunt their assets in the media or out on a Friday night but not to use them how they were actually meant to be used?  Why is it that educated women feel this way? Why is it that 50 Shades of shite is so popular among women? Why is it that we are our own worst enemies?  Yes, Christianity has a lot to answer for shaming women and their bodies, but even in some of the most oppressive countries towards women today breastfeeding is a non-issue. Nursing burqas are big business I tell you! :)

All of this bears thinking about and pondering... above are just some of my thoughts and there are many more where that came from but I will spare you!  Check back tomorrow for my new favourite cake recipe... Grapefruit! Yes, it's worth it!

Check out Mama.ie for the rest of the posts on this special week.

Oh and now... a competition for the week that's in it!



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So You Want to Breastfeed in Ireland?

This week the Irish Parenting Bloggers are doing a blog march for World Breastfeeding Week.  There have been some amazing posts so far and I encourage you to browse!

So you want to breastfeed in Ireland, eh?  Well here are some home truths from some one who's been there and done that despite being one of the less than 1% who cannot physically breastfeed. 

First thing you need to know and probably won't like to hear.... the system and culture is set up so you are almost destined to fail.  What do I mean by this?  I mean that support in the medical system is scant at best and when it's there you have to actively seek it out.  Nine out of ten times your PHN, GP, Midwife and even some hospital lactation consultants are probably not up to date on breastfeeding best practice and advice. I find that at the first sign of trouble they are wont to offer a bottle as a solution.

This does not stop with the medical profession. Our closest support -partners, mothers, the dreaded-mother-in-law, friends, sisters, cousins - are often wont to offer similar advice.  When you have a baby, every one has an opinion and though usually well meant, these opinions can be anything but helpful.  Sylda discusses some all too familiar scenarios in her post this week. Most of our mothers and mothers-in-laws did not breastfeed.  Any attempt you have to do things differently is often met with "sure didn't you/partner turn out grand?" and the misguided assumption that because you are choosing to do something differently from them, you are disparaging the choices they made. Our culture is obsessed with babies being "good" and people are genuinely not familiar with how a biologically normal (i.e. breastfed) baby behaves. Even on my third child on the dreaded day three my own mother kept saying things like "Is that baby feeding AGAIN!?" *sigh*

So if you really want to breastfeed, how do you get around this classic Irish setup for failure?  I spoke with some of the amazingly knowledgeable and experienced women on the Extended Breastfeeding Ireland Facebook Group to get some advice and ideas! 

1. Do your research!

When you decide you want to breastfeed, research ahead of time.  The usual pregnancy books tend to just gloss over breastfeeding, with some of them subtly undermining it.  Learn about the realities of what to expect.  Many Irish women give up in the first two weeks, because they truly are the hardest.  Breastfed newborns feed a LOT! People are not used to this and will give you bad advice.  Breastfed babies will also lose a lot more weight after they're born. This can also be added to if you receive fluids during labour. Medical professionals tend to freak out when they see this weight loss or jaundice and immediately advise supplementation.  Supplementation this early will really hurt your supply and overall journey, so you need to research ahead of time and have a plan in place for if and when this happens.  Get yourself a copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.  It's published by La Leche League and is a phenomenal resource.  Get it ahead of time and read all about the early days and what to expect. Keep it for when after the baby is born as you will refer to it many times.  Most Irish libraries have a copy.  Jack Newman's book is also an excellent resource, especially if you run into problems.  His online handouts are exceptional as well. Familiarise yourself with all this information.  Kellymom is a fantastic online resource that will tackle any myths you might encounter or problems that might occur.  Read read read.... have realistic expectations and try to find out about other Irish women's experiences and how they dealt with and overcame problems both physical and with the system.

2. Get Support in Advance

I cannot stress this one enough. Go to a breastfeeding group before baby is born!  Please, if you do nothing else on this list, this one could make or break it for you.  I always thought these meetings would be full of hippies and "breastapo", but guess what, they are all just normal mammies like you doing their best.  The advice, support and camraderie received in these groups is second to none, but most importantly if you go to a few meetings in advance you will have a built in support group when baby comes along.  On my second daughter the PHN was telling me to do things that didn't sound right and I rang up one of the leaders from the group I'd been going to for advice.  She was over to my house within an hour popping the kettle on and helping me with latching, sending me to bed with Ciara and watching Ella while we nursed.  Amazing!  Not to say they will all be like this, but those first few weeks are fraught with emotions and hormones and even when you are well read and think you are well prepared sometimes the pressure from a PHN  or GP can have you doubting yourself.  A phone call to someone who has been where you are is often enough to give you the confidence and wherewithal to carry on. The meetings are informative and fun and can be a great way to make friends, especially if you are (or will be) a new Mum.  If you can't get out, find a local group on Facebook or join the absolutely phenomenal EBI group, the women of which seem to be able to help with just about anything and most importantly give you the reassurance that what you are facing is normal and fixable!

3. Educate and inform your family

If you are planning on breastfeeding it is imperative that you inform and educate your family and close support.  You need to prepare your partner especially well.  Let them know realistically that you will be out of commission for a few weeks while you establish breastfeeding. Let them know that you will need help - emotional, practical and physical. Let them know what to expect, that breastfed babies feed often in the first few weeks and that sleeping through the night is not a goal. Make sure your partner is aware of your preferences for birth as well. If you do end up in a situation where you cannot speak for yourself, he/she needs to be able to be your voice.  If you want to breastfeed they need to be able to advocate on your behalf. They should be aware of the various arguments medical professionals might use to support supplementing and be able to counter them, if so desired. Talk to your Mum/Mother-in-law about breastfeeding.  Maybe you'll be lucky and find out they did it and support you, but if not, make sure you tell them that their support is imperative and suggesting bottles or routines will not help.  Keep them busy with other methods of helping such as laundry, cleaning and cooking meals. Mums love to feel useful, make it happen!  Make sure your partner is on board here too, if his/her Mum is talking to them on the sly or trying to tell them you are doing things wrong, it can often reverberate back to you and have an impact on your relationship and emotions. Make sure they know where you stand and are on the same page.

4. Assume you can do it!

This one came up a few times on EBI.  Assume you can do it.  This is what your boobs are made for! Very few people cannot physically breastfeed (I should know, I am one), yet many seem to think they can't due to poor education and bad advice.  There are very few breastfeeding problems that can't be fixed with a bit of education and knowledge and a good lactation consultant (note: the hospital ones are not necessarily the best - if needed, I would recommend seeking out a private one, fees can generally be claimed back through insurance.)  Don't listen to negative stories and keep in mind that the majority of people who say they couldn't breastfeed or didn't make enough milk are most likely misinformed and received bad advice, a classic system failure.

5. Follow your instinct

The best advice I can give any parent is to go with your gut.  If it feels right, do it, naysayers be damned. If someone gives you advice, even a GP or PHN and it doesn't feel right, get a second opinion.  If a routine feels right for you, go for it, if you want to carry your baby, go for it, if you prefer a buggy, go for it.  Don't let anyone tell you what's right for you.  Listen to your baby, listen to your heart and you will find the right path.  Some people are of the persuasion that if you breastfeed you must co-sleep, baby-led wean, baby wear, cloth nappy etc etc.  That's not the case. It's not an all inclusive lifestyle. Mothers from all walks of life and all forms of parenting backgrounds breastfeed, which is precisely why I love the diverse support meetings so much.    Do what is right for you, end of story!

6. Don't feel guilty

One of the wisest things my mother ever told me was that no one else can make you feel guilty.  Guilt is a choice, a choice that brings you and people around you down. If you did the best you could, then so be it. Accept that and don't feel bad, be happy with what you achieved and be happy for other mama's who achieved differently. If you do feel guilty - examine why - don't let it hamper you. You are an amazing mama and whether you lasted a day, a week, a month or a year, every single drop made a difference to your baby and you. Don't assume that just because you see or hear someone promoting breastfeeding that they are judging or undermining your decision to wean early or not even start, because as a self-proclaimed "lactivist" I can assure you, we are not.  What works for one mum may not for another and the most important thing is that you do what is best for YOU and your baby!

What other pieces of advice would you add? I'd love to hear from you in the comments!

This post is part of the Irish Parenting Bloggers BlogMarch in support of World Breastfeeding Week running from 1st to 7th August 2013. You can read more about World Breastfeeding Week 2013 here. 

The Irish Parenting Bloggers’ focus is on community support, particularly in the form of peer-to-peer support and the BlogMarch features our varied breastfeeding experiences, including our experiences with breastfeeding support in Ireland. The full list of posts is available on mama.ie here.

How to Prepare Your Child for the First Year of School

You may be a ball of nerves with the thought of your little one beginning school, but to your young child, starting at a new school in a new environment can be even more intimidating. Thus, it’s important to adequately prepare your child for his or her first year of primary school in order to help alleviate some stress and make him or her feel more at ease and confident about the big changes that are about to occur. To make the transition a smooth one, it’s key to sit down and have a chat with your child in order to prepare him or her for this new, somewhat scary, significant part of life. By helping your child get mentally and emotionally prepared for what’s ahead, you can help develop a positive attitude and love for learning, making this new change a happy and positive one.

Discuss What Your Child Should Expect

Prior to the new school year, you should begin to focus on different aspects of school life. Have an open dialogue about school and encourage your child to be more social—take him or her to new places to try new activities so that he or she can become used to meeting new people and trying new activities, which can help him or her get better adjusted to the new learning environment. Additionally, ask your child what he or she thinks about going to school and if he or she feels scared or nervous. This is also a great opportunity to get feedback from your child about starting school as this will encourage your child to ask questions. You may want to organize a play date with the families of other children who will be attending the same school as your child so that he or she will know other children before school begins.

Encourage Independence

Have your child do more things on his or her own, such as dressing, going to the toilet, and opening drink boxes. Although it may be difficult to let go yourself, giving your child more independence by allowing him or her to do more things without your assistance will be a major help once school begins. Ask your child to assist you at home, the grocery store, or other places. Remember it’s important to remind our children that they are growing up and must be able to do things on their own, especially at school.

Develop a School Routine

At least a week before school begins, show your child where the school is and describe how you will get there each day. Have your child accompany you when you pick up his or her school uniform (I recommend M&S, have tried other cheaper options, but M&S can often last for two years and did I mention no ironing???) and other school supplies. This will get your child excited about the prospect of starting school. Most importantly, go through a trial run of the first day of school. Show your child how to pack his or her school bag and discuss what he or she should expect at lunch time. Again, communication is key, so talk with your child about what will happen once the school day ends, particularly the arrangements for after-school care.

The Silent Killer: World Meningitis Day 2013

When I was in high school there was a meningitis outbreak.  As teenagers we thought this was great craic as we got a week off school and had to take pills that made our pee go funny colours.  Being the selfish teenagers we were very few of us spared a few thoughts for the three girls who were struggling in hospital while the rest of us enjoyed the time off.  Thankfully they recovered and there were no further outbreaks and meningitis was put out of my mind until Ella was born nine years ago.

With precious first born syndrome in full swing with her, any time there was a slight fever, the M word was at the back of my mind. It's still there with the other two these days, albeit not in such an alarmist manner.  Today is World Meningitis Day. It's a good day to remind ourselves of the symptoms and what to be aware of and look out for.

There is a free 24 hour helpline if you are ever in doubt, it's totally worth making use of.  1800 41 33 44 stick it in your phone and don't be afraid to use it.  You can't be too careful with this illness and time is of the essence.  The service is there, use it.

To learn more about meningitis and it's symptoms, treatment and implications check out the Meningitis: Keep Watching website.

This video is another somber reminder of how important it is to keep watch on our babies.







‘Meningitis: Keep Watching Ireland’ is a new campaign launched by Meningitis Research Foundation Ireland with support from Novartis Vaccines and Diagnostics Limited, encouraging parents to remain vigilant for the signs and symptoms of the disease.

New Mama Fuel

Some of the members of the Irish Parenting Bloggers Group are throwing a virtual baby shower in the form of a Blog March for the group’s two leaders, Lisa & Áine (who is on a well-deserved blogging break). Áine had a baby girl in January and Lisa is due to have her baby girl in March.  We are taking turns to do a post a day. Yesterday's post came from Jane at That Curious Love of Green and tomorrow will be from Laura at My Internal World.  Today it’s my turn to lead the celebrations with a little help from the letter Y.

I spent some time reflecting on some of those early days with a new baby, hard to believe it's been almost a year since my wee man was born at home. My dear husband took two weeks off to help out afterwards and kept me well fed and the older two looked after as I tried to overcome my breastfeeding issues and make the most of what I was able to produce.  It was only when he went back to work that I realised how hectic things could be with two school age kids and all the extra-curricular goings on and trying to manage those while constantly hooked up to a baby or breast pump.  It felt like there wasn't enough time in the day and I found myself often neglecting to eat!  For those of you who know me, you'll know that's a huge deal, as I never forget to eat or even forget to think about eating, but alas I did.  A few weeks in I knew things had to change and I took advantage of hubby's home days by making some quick and healthy snacks that would be ready to just grab as needed.

These mini-quiche's were a god send.  I would make a few batches on the weekend and freeze them and when I got hungry I would just throw a couple in the microwave and voila, a healthy well-rounded lunch!  You can use any veg you have on hand or just broccoli and cheddar is delicious too. I used a combination of egg whites and whole eggs to keep fat and calories a bit lower, but you can certainly use a dozen eggs if you want that extra punch. They work out at about 100 calories each.

Ingredients:

• 4 eggs
• 1 cup egg whites (+/- 9 egg whites, I used the Two Chicks liquid ones)
• 1-2 cups steamed chopped vegetables (I used leeks, broccoli, peppers, onions, tomatoes)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/4 cup parmesan cheese, grated
• herb and salt and pepper to season

Pre-heat oven to 180C/350F.

Beat the egg whites and eggs together with the parmesan, olive oil and any herbs you would like to use (a teaspoon of pesto is great too!)

Toss in the steamed veg and mix to combine. Season with salt and pepper.

Spray a muffin tin with non-stick spray (or butter them if you're not concerned with fat) and pour the egg mixture into nine of the holes.  Bake for twenty minutes.

Pop out of muffin cups and either serve immediately or store in zip-loc bags in the freezer once cooled. 

Happy New Year!

Well I have truly been a terrible blogger over the past year.  Let's just say my baby boy is a lot more work than my baby girls ever were.  Phew! He definitely keeps me on my toes!  He finally started crawling this week and is sooo much happier now that he can get where he wants to go.  Feel like a weight has been lifted in one regard, with the added worry of him escaping and getting someplace he shouldn't be.  We never bothered with all the safety devices with the girls, as we taught them early on what they were not allowed to go near, but this little guy doesn't care.  He wants what he wants and no one is going to stop him.  It's no wonder I'm wrecked! :D

But I digress... I will get back to cooking and blogging this year, it's one of my goals!  Every year I make resolutions I have already sabotaged in advance by knowing I won't do them. This year is different.  I have seen Leonie Dawson around the web for the last year or so but as I'm not a business woman anymore, I didn't feel the investment was worth it.  It was only this year that I noticed she had an offering for just about any woman as well, with her 2013 life workbook. Again, I wasn't convinced, assuming it was just another way of writing new years resolutions.  When I saw two women I greatly admire and respect recommending it, I finally gave in and ordered it.  And I am SO glad I did.

The first thing that struck me that was different about this system was the retrospective look at 2012.  It seems obvious, but how many times do we just plough ahead into the same old resolutions without actually reflecting on the year past and the lessons learned therein? Leonie asks some thought-provoking questions that really make you think back on the year past and see what you learned and what you could learn going forward.  I found this a really introspective and worthy exercise that made me look back and reflect in a way I never would have otherwise.  It gave me lots of hope going into the new year.

Then you get to continue on and have some fun.  100 things you want to do in 2013? Yes please! How much fun did I have writing that list? And the best part is I actually think it's doable!  There's something incredibly exciting about going into the new year knowing that you have at least 100 things to look forward to. That's more than one a week!!!

The artwork is playful and beautiful and the questions it brings up both superficially and introspectively are just fantastic.  I can't remember when I felt this good going into a new year.  For once I don't feel setup to fail, I see a year full of amazing possibilities!  I will be blogging my way through some of this book just so that I can keep on track and I believe there may be some others blogging their way through as well.  Do you want to join us?  When converted to Euro this is less than a tenner and I can honestly say it's worth every penny! 

While we're on this track, I have to recommend that any mothers out there check out Lucy's beautiful e-book as well.  It's free when you sign-up for her newsletter and also features stunning artwork and honest and thoughtful writing.  She writes about how to maintain your creative flair whilst still managing the daily toils and joys of motherhood.  It's such a beautiful and inspiring read that really touched me on one of those days I felt nothing else could go wrong.  Definitely worth a read for any of you creative mamas who feel stuck!

Well that being said, expect to see a lot more of me this year! I hope you all had a Blessed Yule, Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Yea! :)

A Heartbreaking Decision

Just over a month ago I came to the very difficult decision to stop nursing, or rather, my son did.  For those of you who know my story, you will know that I have Insufficient Gland Tissue or Breast Hypoplasia, meaning I cannot produce a full supply of milk.  I did everything this time around everything that should help supply for normal mothers coupled with every possible combination of drug, herb or physical remedy known to (wo)man.  For the first three months of his life I was constantly attached to a pump, SNS and/or baby.   It quickly became apparent that I couldn't keep this up with two older kids to look after as well.  For those of you who have never nursed with an SNS let me tell you that a few ounces can take well over an hour for baby to consume at which point it's time to pump then time to nurse again and so on and so forth.  I began to introduce a small bottle after he nursed and predictably he grew to prefer the bottle and reject the breast.  I tried to wean him back onto the breast using the SNS but he was not having any of it.  Nursing became a constant struggle and eventually he flat out refused to latch.  This was so hard for me, because my second daughter had had bottles too, but she always preferred to nurse and comfort nursed even when there was nothing there.

The decision to stop was heartbreaking.  I just wanted to be able to do what nature intended.  When he cried I wanted to be able to comfort him, not frustrate him further.  Although I had been getting donor milk, I didn't feel it was fair to ask other women to pump for me when I was giving up myself, so I knew I would be switching him to formula.  I tried to keep pumping, but without the stimulation from nursing I would maybe get a few milliliters a day. Note on my best supply days I would barely get a full ounce for the entire day, if that gives you any indication of the severity of the supply problems here.

This whole journey has been an incredible one, as each child is.  My birthing experience was absolutely amazing and surpassed any expectations I might have had.  It was empowering and inspiring and made me feel like a strong and powerful woman.  My little boy is absolutely wonderful and makes my heart smile everytime I look into those beautiful blue eyes of his.  But my body let me down and the breastfeeding relationship I longed for never came to be.

In the process of this pregnancy/birth/lactation experience I have had the pleasure of meeting some amazing women who suffer with the same condition both at home and abroad through the IGT Support Group and an Ireland specific Low Supply Group I setup earlier this year.  Nothing helps more than a sympathetic ear from someone who has been through the exact same thing.   The four ladies who so graciously gave us donor milk will forever be in my heart.  To think that complete strangers (now friends) took the time and energy to do something so intimate for my little boy is truly overwhelming.  I'm not quite sure if I'll ever be able to express how much their sacrifice meant to me.  Someday when he has his own children and understands about breastfeeding, I will tell him about the women who helped him thrive in the early days.  I will be forever grateful to these women.

I have learned much from this particular journey.  I have learned that although my body lets me down with each child I bring into the world, there is support and people out there who will step in and help you and restore your faith in your ability to mother.  I have also learned that their are people out there who will never understand or care to try to.  Those people are best ignored.

I was in Howth yesterday giving Mark a bottle and I recognised a woman from some of the other "natural parenting" facebook groups.  The look of disdain she gave me when she saw me feeding him a bottle was truly shocking.  How dare she judge me?  She has no idea what I've been through.  It took me more effort to feed my baby for one day than it will her to feed all three of hers for a lifetime.  It's the one thing I've really learned in all this.  You cannot judge, you DO NOT KNOW.  I wanted to shout at her, to tell her how ignorant she was, but really what would that achieve?  We need to support other mothers no matter what their choices and we cannot assume just because we see someone with a bottle that they were too lazy to even give it a try.  When it comes to breastfeeding, Mamas with IGT are anything but lazy.  We need support too, we need to feel welcome into the breastfeeding community without being made to feel we are failures.  We need caring and loving glances from other mothers, not looks of ignorant judgment. I have spoken before how I too am often guilty of this and I know myself that it's something we all can improve upon.  Sometimes I just wonder why I had to care... why I couldn't have been one of those Moms who didn't care at all about breastfeeding?

My little man and I are onto new pastures and I try not to let this all get me down, but sometimes when I get one of those looks like I got yesterday or see another Mama nursing, it sends a regretful chill through my body and makes me question myself all over again.  Baby Led Weaning is proving an amazing success and a great amount of fun, so it's time to move onwards and upwards and explore this brave new world with my little guy.

Thanks to everyone who offered support, advice and loving thoughts on this rocky journey.

My Cloth Nappy Experiment: Popeazy and Bumgenius V4

"Wee" man in a Popeazy

I've been using cloth nappies now for over four months, it's been a fun experiment that has turned into a permanent change..  I can honestly say I would never look back.  Initially we had some setbacks as we learned how to use them and get around leaks and find the right nappies for our wee man.  When I was out and about originally I reverted to disposibles, but now that I'm comfortable with cloth, I have been using them all the time. Haven't seen a disposable since June!  I've reviewed Fuzzibunz and Little Comfort Bambees, but today I want to review my two favourites, the new Little Comfort Popeazy and the Bumgenius V.4 One size.

The Wee Man in a Bumgenius V4

I've been using Bumgenius since I started and they quickly became my favourite nappy. They are versatile, cute and very absorbent. I use two inserts at night and never have a leaking problem and use one insert during the day.  I still prefer Bambees at night, but Bumgenius is my next best bet. They are great for using out and about when double stuffed as well. If there's a long car journey I know that I will have no problem with leaks or discomfort.  They also seem to fit him the best with no rashes.  The poppers seem to be better than the velcro in terms of comfort and fit, but the velcro option is husband-friendly and is really just as effective.  My little man is not so little and has very chunky thighs, the Fuzzibunz ended up causing rashes as he grew and no matter how much I adjusted them, nothing would help.  Whilst the elastic on the Bumgenius is not adjustable, I have never had a problem with fit.  I also find the nappies to be top quality and made really well. The poppers are very strong and even when you're tugging on them to get him changed, they rarely pop open.  I truly didn't think these nappies could be beaten and they remain the bulk of my (now full) stash.

A few weeks ago Little Comfort announced their new One Size pocket nappy, the Popeazy.  Knowing how soft and reliable the Bambee's were I knew I'd have to try these.  There was an amazing sale on them leading up to the All About Baby Fair which I took advantage of and purchases a 5 pack.  Upon picking them up at the (very awesome) fair, I was immediately struck by the softness and high quality of both the nappy and the inserts.  I couldn't wait to get them on himself. 

You are supposed to wash new nappies before you use them to increase the absorbency but I am both lazy and impatient so I put them on him right away.  Usually with new nappies I would change them more frequently until they reach full absorbency but I kept checking the popeazy and he was fine. I finally gave in and changed him after three hours. Couldn't believe I'd gotten so long out of a brand new nappy.  They've now been through the wash several times and I am seriously impressed with the absorbency.  The fit is just perfect too.  They also feature sturdy poppers and there are loads of versatile fitting settings.  I am absolutely thrilled with these nappies, they are incredibly cute with lovely colours, they are of top-notch quality and have a great fit.  They last quite awhile and seem to be very comfortable on baby. 

They would be my new favourite if it wasn't for one minor flaw.  I suspect this flaw might be more of an issue for boys than girls, but it is definitely problematic and could be improved upon.  That is the fact that the fleece comes all the way to the top of the nappy on the front.  If you look at the picture of the popeazy versus the bumgenius, you can see that the BG PUL layer comes over the top of the nappy on the inside.  The Popeazy has fleece all the way to the top.  With boys and trousers that press against the waist just as the nappy ends, the fleece seems to get pushed up and the trousers/vest get wet.  It's not a major leak per se, but the clothes get wet and make baby uncomfortable.  It's something BG changed from v2 to v3 and it's something I hope the Popeazy will address in future versions.  If it wasn't for this little flaw, I'd be ordering a load more and making it my primary stash as I do think it's a superior nappy on all fronts.  I suspect if you ave girls or avoid trousers, this wouldn't be such a problem. 

So there you have it, two brilliant nappies that I highly recommend. 

  

Breastfeeding Difficulties: Living with IGT

I'm feeling sorry for myself lately.  The past few days I've been kind of low.  One would think that being surrounded by extraordinary women and their gorgeous children at the Homebirth Conference would have left me on a high and to an extent it did, but it also served to make me feel less of a woman... again. I hate my boobs.

My wee man is two months old and I still nurse him at each feed, but I have to supplement him and as he grows so does that supplement with my supply staying the exact same. I nurse and if I have time I hook him up to the SNS and feed him the supplement at breast, but with two school age kids and their various extracurriculars, I don't really have the time to have a 90 minute SNS session more than once a day, if even, so that means he gets a bottle.  He nurses for about five minutes on each side before getting frustrated and annoyed as the milk dries up.  This is the day to day of Insufficient Glandular Tissue or IGT.  It sucks. A lot.

I want to be able to pick my baby up when he cries and satisfy him.  I want to be able to nourish him by myself as I should be designed to do. I want stains on my shirts because my milk leaks. I want mustard poo. I don't want to smell like curry because of all the fenugreek I take.  I don't want to be hungry all the time because of the high dosage of domperidone I'm on.  I don't want to have to hide a bottle under a blanket when I'm with other breastfeeding women.  I don't want to have to explain my situation to everyone who gives me a dirty look. I want the people closest to me and everyone else -strangers included who feel they have the right to comment - who ask why I bother and suggest switching to bottles to realise they are not helping.  I want breastfeeding "experts" to stop telling me it's something I'm doing wrong.  I just want to be normal.

How can my body make and sustain this beautiful baby for ten months then not continue to do so after he is so beautifully born? 

I cried my eyes out the entire drive home from Dublin last week not because I was jealous of all those women I saw who were lovingly nursing their babies, but rather because I was mourning the fact that I couldn't do that.  I was sad, angry and frustrated. Why me? What is wrong with my body that my breasts never developed? Why can no one fix it? Why does no one even care enough to try? Why do people tell me not to bother?

The thoughts that go through my head are endless. Nothing can prepare a mother for primary lactation failure.  It goes against every maternal instinct one has.  Putting a baby to an empty breast only upsets him further, it's heartbreaking to watch. It kills me when I see people not even try to breastfeed, or give up for stupid reasons. It makes me mad that women who could easily feed any number of babies don't because they fear they are giving up their freedom or won't make enough or it might hurt or they just can't be bothered.  I would rather have enough milk and raw nipples or permanent mastitis than IGT.  Not being able to feed my babies just kills me and it's so hard not to be angry.  I know I shouldn't judge other women, especially because I believe most of it is due to lack of education and/or support, but still, it's just hard when you have literally tried everything under the sun to no avail.

One of the ladies in the IGT Support Group summed it up perfectly when she said "IGT is like a silent killer to the wonderment of motherhood."  So true. She goes on to share how it has affected her:

To me having IGT is like a silent killer to the wonderment of motherhood. Yes the children get older and nursing struggles become distant memories (I have 7 and 5 1/2 yr old boys too) but for now, right now I am saddened. I struggle with wondering why God would make a perfect beautiful way to feed babies and then not allow me to feed them that way. I never had fertility problems, I had no idea my breasts were empty shells devoid of mammary glands. They aren't huge but they're breasts! I even commented to my husband during my first pregnancy "well I'm leaking colostrum, so at least we know my boobs work..." after noticing there was a lack of tenderness and growth about 25 weeks in. The only reason I keep going with the SNS is for the joy I feel when I see those blue eyes peering up at me. He loves to nurse, all my baby's did. And the little smile in the corner of his mouth when he opens wide to latch on, those few swallows he gets before needing the SNS; it's worth it to me for that calm and peace and unity we have, my baby and I.

Yes. THAT is what I need to focus on. Those loving eyes looking up at me enjoying what little he can get.   I have to remain positive and enjoy the nursing relationship I do have and who knows, maybe as he gets older and adds solids I will eventually be able to eliminate supplements.  I cannot let other people's negativity and "I don't know why you bother" attitude bring me down.  I cannot look at other women who are successful and let it sadden me.  I cannot let blog posts like this make me cry and mourn.  I will continue to do what I am doing because it benefits my son and it benefits me.  Must.stay.strong.

Homebirth Conference 2012: Ina May Gaskin

I am so excited about Sunday when I will be attending the 2012 Homebirth Association of Ireland Conference.  It promises to be a great day out for anyone interested in natural birth and parenting.  I am a huge advocate for natural birth and homebirth and can't wait to hear the speakers and meet like-minded parents at this event.

The headline speaker is none other than Ina May Gaskin, probably the world's most renowned midwife.  I first heard of Ina May when a friend gave me a copy of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. At the time I was of the persuasion that if I would need to be knocked out to deliver this baby and woken up when it was all over.  My only perception of childbirth was what I had seen on TV and in movies - lots of screaming and pain, frantic medical staff and frustrated Moms.  I already figured myself to have a low pain tolerance and knew there was no way I could do this without copious amounts of drugs.

I had been a bit of a hippy in my youth, following bands such as Phish around during the summer and the friend who gave me the book thought it would appeal to that side of me.  She was absolutely right.  I was only a few pages in when I began to reconsider my attitude.  The first half of the book is filled with birth stories from The Farm, where Ina May has her midwifery practice.  The stories are beautiful and empowering and instantly made me feel like I could do this.  The second half of the book focuses on birth itself and goes through the various modern practices and questions them.  There is no pressure in this book, just a very educated and experienced woman presenting the facts for you to evaluate and decide.  Before I had finished the book, I switched from an obstetrician to a midwife (not too common where I was in the US at the time) and was determined to have an intervention-free natural birth.  Ina May's book was the start of my journey towards an empowering birth and began a journey of growth as a woman.  Despite being immersed in a hospital setting, the knowledge in this book allowed me to have almost the birth I wanted.  I avoided all interventions except a heparin lock, which I couldn't argue my way out of.  It was put in an hour before delivery and I demanded it be removed immediately after, so all in all it wasn't so bad.

The book was pulled out again on my second birth where I had hoped to have a homebirth.  Unfortunately the midwife had to pull out at the last minute, but I was able to have an intervention and drug-free birth in Castlebar.  I re-read every story in the book and again it gave me so much strength.

This past time around I read the book again and I added Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding to my repertoire.  I remember labouring in the pool thinking to myself "I'm going to get huge" just like one of them women in the book.  I truly believe these books helped me believe in myself and be an active participant in the three most important days of my life.

I am absolutely ecstatic to have the chance to hear Ina May on Sunday, we are so lucky to have her come to Ireland.  The Irish Times has a piece about the visit and the conference.

If you're at all interested in natural birth, it's definitely worth a visit.  The conference is this Sunday at the Louis Fitzgerald Hotel on the Naas Road in Dublin.  Tickets are available at the door and lunch is included. Tickets are €45 for HBA members and €55 for non-members. There will be lots of shopping opportunities as well.  Further details are available from the HBA website.

Let me know if you're planning on attending as I'd love to meet as many as I can!

My Cloth Nappy Experiment: Fuzzi Bunz One Size Elite

We are on day seven of my great cloth nappy experiment and I still a complete convert! I ordered three brands to try out to see what would work best for us. I've already reviewed Little Comfort and now I'm going to discuss Fuzzi Bunz.

I ordered the three count trial pack of One Size Elite from Hipbaby. I got red, blue and orange and was instantly taken with how adorable they were!  The nappies are "pocket nappies" which Go Real describes as:

"The Pocket Nappy is an All-in-one nappy which holds the absorbent part in a pocket between a fleecy stay dry layer and the waterproof outer. This allows you to separate the absorbent part to aid quick drying."

They came with two lovely soft Minky inserts which you pop into the nappy to use.  The lovely Leona from  Hipbaby gave me a quick demonstration on how to stuff them and made sure I knew to spread them out inside the pocket to prevent side leaks.   The nappies have adjustable elastic on either side that can be changed as the baby grows. Initially I left them as they arrived but quickly found they were a better fit if I adjusted them down two notches.

The wee man in a red Fuzzibunz

These nappies work from birth to potty-training, so you definitely get a good bang for your buck.  They have snap enclosures which also allow you to choose from various sizing options when you close the nappy.  I've figured out what works best for little man after having one leak that was my own fault.  Other than that we have had no problems with these nappies and I am really liking them.  He wore one last night from about 7pm to 3am.  Ideally I would have changed him around eleven but he had been awake the entire day and I hated to wake him.  I was sure I would be facing leaks at 3am, but not at all.  I was very impressed!

I love the fact that I can tumble dry these nappies and with the inserts being separate they don't take very long to dry. At the moment my nappy stash is a limited eleven nappies so I'm doing laundry daily and the fact that the Fuzzi Bunz are ready quickly is a lifesaver.

To summarise:
An excellent pocket nappy with great absorbency. A great selection of colours, highly adjustable and very functional. Will definitely remain a staple in my stash!

Pros:

• High quality, well-known brand
• Excellent absorbency
• Nice selection of colours, very cute
• Highly adjustable
• Quick drying time
• No leaks!

Cons:

• A bit bulky
• Snaps can be daunting (well at least himself thinks so!)

Disclaimer: No compensation was received for this review, nappies were purchased from my own pocket. All opinions are my own.Fuzzibunz can be ordered in Ireland from Hipbaby.ie.

My Cloth Nappy Experiment: Review of Little Comfort

Little Comfort Trial Pack

We are on day five of my great cloth nappy experiment and I think it's safe to say I will not be going back to disposables!  If you'd have told me I would say this two weeks ago I would have laughed in your face, but here I am, a complete convert! I ordered three brands to try out to see what would work best for us.

The first brand I tried was Little Comfort.  I was really excited to try them out as they are an Irish company and I like to support Irish businesses where at all possible, especially when - like Little Comfort - they are competitive.

I ordered the combination trial pack of their economy nappy and their luxury Bambee nappy.  The package came with 4 flushable liners and a cover.  I ordered the burberry cover that looked blue on the website, but is a definite purple when it arrived.  My very manly hubby was immediately put off by the purple, but I promised no one would see it!  The packaging was lovely and came with full colour instructions and a troubleshooting guide. I was a little disappointed because one of the snaps had fallen off the economy nappy before I had opened the package, but I was able to make do.

The wee man in his Little Comfort Bambee Nappy

Both nappies are exceptionally soft with the Bambee being just lovely and luxurious.  They both came with two inserts that just snap into the nappy.  I have used both at night with absolutely no leaks and this being with a baby who would regularly leak through night time disposable nappies.  To say I was pleased is an understatement.  When you take the nappy off the baby there are no red marks, no smell other than a lovely woody scent that I take it comes from the bamboo they are made of.  The cover seems to keep everything contained and both nappies wash up just lovely.

You cannot tumble dry them, which is a little frustrating as they take a long time to dry and in this weather, a line is just not an option. From an aesthetic point of view I think these could be a little cuter, but functionally they are fantastic.

To summarise:
An excellent super-soft bamboo nappy with great absorbency.   I will continue using them for my night time choice as I know I can rely on them and they are soft and luxurious on my son.

Pros:

• Irish company, made in Ireland
• High quality
• Super soft
• Excellent absorbency
• Lovely smell
• Comfortable on baby
• No leaks!

Cons:

• A bit bulky
• Plain looking
• Slow to dry
• Can't tumble-dry
• Requires a cover

Disclaimer: No compensation was received for this review, nappies were purchased from my own pocket. All opinions are my own.Little Comfort can be ordered directly from their website.

Real Nappy Week: My Experiment with Cloth Diapers

Did you know that it's Real Nappy (Diaper) Week?  Me neither!  A week ago I thought that a real nappy was made by Pampers.  Turns out real nappies are the ones our grandmothers used... CLOTH nappies.

When I thought of cloth nappies I thought pins and pails and smells and piles and piles of laundry.  Laundry is my nemesis and I am no fan of dirty nappies, so the mere idea of cloth nappies filled me with dread.

Yes, I knew it was good for the environment and really good for my wallet, but the thought of the added laundry and a big bucket of poopy mess lying around just made me want to run the other way.

I was having coffee with some friends last week and one of them mentioned how her friend had a new baby and was using cloth nappies. We all scoffed at the thought of the extra laundry and we moved on to another subject.  Two days later I was reading an article about saving money and they came up again and a day or two later I was thinking of ways we could reduce our waste and there it was again. So like any good Mammy would, I consulted Captain Google and lo and behold, my idea of cloth nappies was antiquated at best.  After asking Moms who use cloth nappies some honest questions and doing a fair bit of online research, I decided to take the plunge and order a few samples and that is how I end up sitting with my little man wearing the cutest little blue Fuzzibunz cloth nappy.

I spoke with lots of Moms and the brands that came up again and again were Bumgenius, Fuzzibunz and the Irish brand Little Comfort.  I ordered a couple of nappies of each brand and we are trying them out over the next few days to see if it's something that would work for us.  One of the things that have convinced me is the idea of using a flushable liner in the nappies so any solids are flushed down the toilet, not sitting steeping somewhere.  That also means they aren't stinking up a garbage bin like disposable ones.  Big selling point for me, especially as they get older and the dirty nappies get worse.  From a laundry perspective it doesn't sound too bad either as I have been assured you only need to do a wash every 2-3 days.

Today starts my experiment and I will report back and review the various brands.  I have a feeling this is going to work and revolutionise this house, but time will tell.  If you are interested in taking the plunge, lots of places are doing great deals for Real Nappy Week. Below are the Irish shops that I have ordered from, all of which are offering good deals for the event or on trial packs.

• Baba Me - I ordered Bumgenius from these guys located in Newry. They offer free delivery and have some great BOGOF deals this week. I hope to receive these tomorrow.

• Little Comfort - I ordered a combination trial pack from this Irish company.  I love that the nappies are made in Ireland. They also have a 10% discount code for the rest of the month for RNW, type RNW12 in at checkout.  

• Hipbaby - I ordered Fuzzibunz from this Irish shop, there's some good deals on packs, they also stock Little Comfort. The service was amazing and I love these nappies so far, they are so cute and functional. 

• Earthmother - Earthmother stocks Bumgenius as well but they also have a huge range of earth-friendly cleaning products and detergents as well as tons of nappy accessories. 

Have you tried cloth nappies or considered it? What are your thoughts?

Review: Ardo Calypso Breast Pump

My breastfeeding journey has continued to be a struggle with my new little man.  For a few days there we thought I might actually be ok.  For the first time I experienced let down and engorgement and my little man was audibly swallowing and even gulping at times. I didn't supplement at all until day ten when it became apparent he was going downhill and losing weight and becoming less alert.  I think I made enough milk initially but as his needs increased my supply couldn't keep up.  The joys of IGT I guess. It made the whole situation quite emotional for me, as even though I had prepared for the worst I had gotten that false glimmer of hope for the first week or so that things were actually working this time around.  I have been supplementing with donor milk and formula for the last few weeks and thankfully the little man is now thriving again. It's a heartbreaking situation and even more difficult when I see so many women giving up for selfish or just plain ridiculous reasons when they make plenty of milk. But I digress...

It quickly became apparent that I would need to add pumping to my long list of tricks to get my supply to it's optimum level.  In the past I have used Medela and Avent pumps.  I used the hospital grade Medela Lactina, the Medela Swing and the Medela Mini as well as the Avent Isis. I was on a budget this time but wanted something good and reliable that wouldn't cost me a fortune in replacement parts if I needed them.

I stumbled upon the Ardo Calypso Breast Pump, an electric pump that can do single or double pumping.  It was a bit of a gamble as they are a less known company and there were not too many reviews out there.  The reviews that were out there though, were quite good.  I loved the 400 hour guarantee that transferred with owners and I liked the fact that several had commented on the excellent customer support. It is also used in hospitals in parts of the UK, so I figured that in itself is a raging endorsement.

I went ahead and ordered the package deal on Inhealth.ie as it came with the double kit and some milk storage bags and worked out cheaper than buying the double kit on Amazon or directly from Ardo.

I am very happy with the pump, it is on par with other ones I have tried, even the very expensive Medela Lactina.  I loved the fact that it came with three different sized flanges, so you are sure to be able to get one that works best for you without having to shop around elsewhere and fork out more money.  It is fairly straightforward to assemble, although I can't say I thought the instructions were very clear.  Think Ikea instructions, you need to do a lot of reading between the lines, but once set up it's easy to remember and repeat.

The pump itself is very quiet in comparison to other electric pumps.  The base unit is small and unobtrusive and doesn't look like a breast pump.  It sits inconspicuously in my living room and no one knows what it is until I plug in the flanges.

There are eight vacuum and eight cycle settings.  This is brilliant because you can play around with something that suits your situation and your flow.  I start off on a very fast cycle to imitate what a baby would do to start let down, then I slow it down.  As the flow is decreasing, I turn the vacuum up and do compressions to get the remaining few drops out.

Overall I am extremely happy with this pump. I think it is better than both the Medela and Avent options and would highly recommend it.  Below is a summary of the pros and cons.

Pros:

• Great value for money
• Three flange sizes
• Affordable replacement parts
• Quiet motor
• Small and inobtrusive
• Can be used with batteries as well
• 400 hours of pumping guarantee
• Good customer service
• Fully compliant with the WHO Breastfeeding code.

Cons:

• Instructions are not as clear as they should be
• Batteries must be removed to use the mains adaptor

Disclaimer: I purchased this pump with my own funds, no compensation was received for this review. All opinions are my own.

The Long Awaited Arrival of Our Little Boy

Smiling between contractions, clary sage in hand!

As some of you know, I had been planning a homebirth for our third child.  In order to do so I needed to get to 37 weeks. This might seem like no problem to most people, but my babies tend to show up right around that mark. The deadline was Saturday February 25th.  The Saturday before I started having contractions and was devastated I would end up in the hospital.  After speaking with the midwife and having a few glasses of wine things slowed down and I made it through to Thursday, which was still two days before the magic 37 week mark.  Contractions started in earnest and at 4am we decided to ring the midwife to come out.  She didn't think things were progressing much and went home when I was 2cm.  It was devastating, the pool was filled and everything.  This pattern continued for almost two weeks. Hubby had finished work because we were sure things were imminent.  I felt like such a failure.  Contractions, bloody show, the whole lot and then nothing.

Eventually I stalled at 4cm and stalled for several days.  On Wednesday the midwife came to see me and did some acupuncture.  I noticed things picked up a bit that night and I was awoken a few times with strong contractions.  At 6:30am I woke up when my body decided to clear itself out, after which I went back to bed.  At 7:43, two minutes before my alarm was due to go off I was awoken with a pop and a gush as my fore waters broke.  Talk about a shock!  We were so excited as it meant FINALLY things were kicking off.

Labouring in the pool

I texted the midwife and my Mom and let them know what was going on.  I was also keenly aware that due to the ridiculous laws surrounding homebirth in Ireland, this would put me on a clock and if I hadn't gone into labour within 24 hours I'd be sent to Mullingar to argue my way out of unfounded procedures.  By the afternoon contractions were present but highly irregular.  The midwife came out to check on me around 3pm and reassured me that I would go into labour before the deadline. She did some more acupuncture and gave me some homeopathy. She thought that when the girls went to bed things would kick off and she was right.

Around seven contractions started to get stronger and once the kids were in bed my parents came and things really started to kick off.  I had been listening to my Gentlebirth tracks which had been keeping me quite calm and composed.  I called the midwife and asked if I could get into the pool and she agreed and said she'd be on her way.  The pool was literally bliss, but it did slow things down a bit.  When Aisling arrived she checked me with my permission and asked me to get out of the pool. I was 5cm and once I was out she asked me to go lie down upstairs without anyone watching me as she thought I would progress more.  I put on the hypnobirth tracks again and things picked up a bit.  I came back downstairs around midnight and asked to get back in the pool. Things were picking up but still manageable.  My hind waters broke at this stage and I felt crazy leaking everywhere.  She called another midwife to come out which I knew meant things were imminent.  I decided I wanted my Mom there and Paul rang her to come.  I was in the pool when they arrived and I was getting quite vocal according to my notes.  I kept expecting to hit that wall I had hit in previous births where I gave in and wanted every drug on the planet.  (I never did give in, but I sure wanted to!)  I don't know if it was the fact that I knew that wasn't an option or if the Gentlebirth had helped me or if I was just older and wiser, but it never happened.  There were a few moments where I thought I couldn't do it but I just reminded myself of how lucky we were and how much I had to be grateful for and it got me through.

Contractions were coming quickly and intensely and I evidently woke up my 7 year old who came downstairs.  Her Grandad kept her entertained as I continued to labour.  I began to feel some pressure and Aisling asked me to get out of the pool as it was now too cold for the baby.  Getting out was torture, I thought he was going to come any minute, but it turns out I had plenty of time.  Baby was still posterior as we entered the pushing stage.  His posterior position was responsible for the lengthy labour, the stopping and starting and the SROM.  Having had severe tears on my daughters I was determined to try and avoid a repeat performance this time, so I really took my time with the pushing stage.  Aisling was amazing, there was no yelling at me or telling me what to do.  She said once or twice to listen to my body and I felt so respected and listened to throughout.  They would check the fetal heartbeat between contractions but otherwise I was left to my own devices.  On the girls births as soon as I felt the need to push I just let loose and pushed until they were out, damned if I was going to drag things out.  This time I just let my body do the work.  It meant letting him go back in between contractions but the relief between them was so worth it.

Paul and my Mom were amazing at this stage, wiping my brow with a cold cloth and draping my neck with one; they were both so encouraging.  Towards the end I remember thinking it had to be the last push, I could feel him crowning and then the contraction stopped.  The midwife told me he went back in and I called him a bastard which made everyone laugh.  I was kneeling and leaning over the couch at this point.  I could feel the head mostly out and could feel his face coming, it was amazing being so present during this stage, (I had entonox (gas and air) on my previous birth and felt stoned and stupid and out of control) I could appreciate every sensation and really listen to my body.  I felt his face come and someone asked me to give a tiny push and the next thing I knew I felt his whole body slither out and the relief and love was instant at a precise 3am.  He didn't cry for a few seconds but when he did my heart sang.  Paul was crying and I asked if it was definitely a boy and was assured he was.  The cord was short so we had to fenagle me around to hold him and when I did it was love at first sight, he was just gorgeous.  I sat there on the floor with him for what seemed like a blissful eternity.  He nursed like a champ and both Paul and I had plenty of skin-to-skin time with him.  His sisters got to meet him right away and were besotted.

It was an incredible experience that everyone involved with couldn't get over.  I felt so respected and well taken care of throughout my pregnancy and birth and afterwards.  If I were to do it again (and that's a big if, mostly dependent on himself!) I would go no other way. I feel so empowered as a woman.  Mark Russell weighed in at 10 pounds 9 ounces and I didn't need any stitches.  It's only been 36 hours but the recovery so far has been night and day from my other births.  I've very little pain other than the usual afterpains when nursing and I feel very energetic.  Mark is a little dote, feeds well and is very contented.

Breastfeeding: My sad story and a glimmer of hope!

Science says breast is best and science is right.  Science would also have you believe that every woman can breast feed. In that regard, they would be wrong.  In 99.9% of the time that is indeed the case, but sometimes, just sometimes a woman can have a physiological problem that can prevent her from being able to fully feed her child. Sometimes this can be self-induced such as the case with breast reduction surgery, but other times there can be no known cause.  I fall into the second category.

May 7, 2004

When my daughter was born in 2004 there was no question in my mind that I would breastfeed.  I wanted to give my daughter the best start in life and what better way to do it.  It never occurred to me I would have difficulties that couldn't be overcome.  I had a drug-free natural birth with a nurse midwife in a hospital in Michigan. For the most part it was a wonderful experience and baby went straight to the breast.  They told me right away that she had jaundice but encouraged me to breastfeed.  On her second day she was bright yellow and had to go under blue billirubin lights. The pediatrician wanted me to supplement to try and get the jaundice out of her system and recommended I do so with an SNS so as not to delay or upset my milk coming in.  Several days later my milk had not "come in" in the way I'd read about. No engorgement, pain, leaking... nothing.  I had a visit with a lactation consultant who examined me and knew immediately something was wrong.  She said I had underdeveloped breasts and not enough gland tissue.  She recommended herbs and domperidone to help with my supply.  Unfortunately this whole time Ella was losing weight and the jaundice was not improving.  My father-in-law came to visit immediately after she was born (never make that mistake friends) and he made me uncomfortable feeding so after just two weeks I gave up.  It was a sad day, but being in the US at the time I knew I had to be back in work in four weeks and convinced myself it was for the best.

Roll on 18 months later and my second daughter Ciara was born, this time in Ireland. Again a natural unmedicated birth.  It was to be a homebirth, but the midwife was not able to attend at the last minute so we had to go to the hospital. It was perfect and the midwife was wonderful allowing plenty of skin-to-skin and immediate feeding.  I had also had nine months to prepare and try and address the problems I had with Ella.  I worked with my GP ahead of time and was officially diagnosed with breast hypoplasia and insufficient glandular tissue.  An ultrasound confirmed that I had minimal gland tissue and as a result could not produce a full supply.  This time I was going to try pumping after feeds and add more herbs (fennugreek, blessed thistle to name a few) and a high dose of domperidone (motilium, 90mg 3x day).  None of this actually helped with my supply as far as I noticed which in hindsight makes sense as if the tissue is not there no amount of galactagogues are going to help.  I breastfed Ciara for just over nine months using the SNS to supplement but she continued to comfort nurse even though there was nothing there for about a year.  I would have liked to go longer but she was ready to move on.  Another sad day.

During both my experiences I met lots of people who tried to help whether doctors, lactation consultants or La Leche League leaders and enthusiastic members.  Most meant well, but generally made things worse by telling me everyone could breastfeed and I was obviously doing something wrong when clearly baby was latched perfectly and I was continually attached to a baby or pump.  Six years later there is a lot more known about my condition, but I have yet to find anyone else in Ireland with my problem.  Breastfeeding is atrocious here, most women get very little help and give up within days or weeks.  It makes me so sad to think of all the women and babies out there that were perfectly capable of having a wonderful nursing relationship and full supply who did not do so because no one showed them how or helped them when they encountered more common difficulties.  When you've pumped for 18 hours straight and are staring at a sum total of half an ounce, you would literally kill to have functional boobs albeit ones with mastitis, inflamed nipples or oversupply.

The good news is that this condition does improve slightly with each pregnancy as more tissue is formed.  Women with less severe hypoplasia can even go on to have a full or almost full supply in subsequent pregnancies.  There is much more known about the condition and many books and groups that help.  MOBI (Mothers Overcoming Breastfeeding Issues) has been an incredible resource for me as have two books.

The Breastfeeding Mother's Guide to Making More Milk is an incredible resource for anyone with supply issues be it something like my IGT, breast surgery, PCOS or something baby related such as tongue tie.  There is lots of research on physical, herbal and medical solutions to many of the problems mothers and babies may encounter.

Mother Food: A Breastfeeding Diet Guide with Lactogenic Foods and Herbs for a Mom and Baby's Best Health is the second book which is a riveting read regardless of issues you may have.  It's a fascinating insight into breastfeeding throughout time and investigates both modern and historical antidotes for various issues and essential outcomes.  It's a great book for anyone breastfeeding who wants to ensure their milk is the best it can be.

Both books offer suggestions for women with chronic supply issues before and after baby is born which has helped me immensely in preparing for this pregnancy knowing the issues I will face.  My IGT plan of action is as follows:

• Pre-natal natural progesterone supplement to 38 weeks
• Pre-natal supplement of Go-Lacta, Goat's Rue, Alfalfa
• Pre-natal nutritional supplements including prenatal vitamin, Omega 3,6 oils, Evening Primrose Oil, Calcium and Floradix Iron Supplement
• Pregnancy Tea
• Expression of colostrum from 34 weeks to collect and freeze for baby and encourage supply
• Gentlebirth Hypnobirthing and the breastfeeding hypnosis track after birth
• Home waterbirth with no interventions, immediate skin-to-skin and nursing.
• Frequent on demand nursing with breast compression
• Supplement donor milk* using SNS, as necessary
• Post-natal nutritional supplements as above, increasing iron if required
• Herbal supplements of Shatavari, Leptaden, fenugreek, More Milk Special Blend and Blessed Thistle.
• Prescription supplement of high dose domperidone (motilium)
• Pumping after feeds.

* I was lucky enough to find some very understanding, kind and generous women to offer me donor milk through Human Milk for Human Babies. I am so incredibly touched that these women would help someone in my situation and I am blessed that I will be able to feed my son the best I can in my circumstances and avoid formula. 

Our wee man!

So that's the plan and my story.  Little Boy Blue is due any day now and I hope that it will improve this time .  I would love to hear from other Irish Mama's who have IGT, I know I can't be alone! I would also ask lactation consultants, LLL leaders, Doulas, PHNs and midwives to read up on the condition as it can be extremely disheartening to be told you are doing something wrong when in fact you are doing everything and then some right, but baby is still not thriving.  

I've listed some other excellent breastfeeding resources below:

Dr. Jack Newman's Website - Renowned Canadian breastfeeding expert. Lots of articles, videos and research here. A fantastic resource for new Moms. 

Kellymom - A wonderful resrouce by mothers for mothers. 

La Leche League - The breastfeeding advocates. Information on local meetings, a useful forum and tons of great handouts and pamphlets.

Human Milk for Human Babies - Find donor milk or donate milk to mothers and babies in need.

MOBI - Mothers Overcoming Breastfeeding Issues: great articles, fantastic email support group and links to various books and suppliers.

Breastfeeding Mums Ireland - A facebook group for breastfeeding mothers.

Friends of Breastfeeding - An Irish group promoting breastfeeding and lactivism.